7 Affluent Rapport Killers

Recently I had the pleasure (tongue in cheek) of having lunch at a fundraiser with a table of BORING affluent locals. An hour later, after my excruciatingly painful meal, it was apparent that these people are ideal prospects but don’t have a clue about developing rapport and making a good first impression. Not that they cared, but few people would like to be called “boring.”

Now, keeping my tongue firmly implanted in my cheek, let me remind you that an aspect in the art of selling to today’s affluent is being able to quickly establish rapport, often times with boring people. And boring conversations are a turn-off. Right?

So as we enter the summer season when advisors should be working to capitalize on this crisis – PROSPECT – which leads to active social prospecting, let’s have a chuckle and review what I’ve termed the 7 Affluent Rapport Killers.

1.Talking too much – Do you know anyone like this? How about any advisors who like to hear themselves talk? I do. The rule of thumb for affluent rapport building is to spend 80% of your time listening and 20% talking. Let them babble on while you force yourself to be interested.

2.Talking about yourself – Get used to it. But don’t do it. Don’t you love it when you’re listening to someone tell you, in minute detail, about themselves –what they’re doing, what they like, what they’ve done, etc. Another rule of thumb with the affluent is that when they’re talking 80% of the time, it important to get them talking about their favorite subject – themselves! Sorry, but they could care less about you.

3.Not listening – Isn’t it infuriating when someone asks you a question and you get the feeling they are not listening to your response? It’s poor form. This is a real challenge for anyone who likes the sound of their own voice, especially advisors. Why? Because instead of listening they’re looking for an opening to … talk. Some even interrupt. Ouch!

4.Bragging about your kids – I know, everyone’s child is going to be a professional athlete, doctor, attending an Ivy League college, or about to save the world. Which is why an entire industry was built around bragging bumper stickers; My Child Is An Honor Student at…. I don’t know about you, but I’ve never seen one that read My kid’s stupid! Remember, it’s okay for your prospect to brag, to be boring – your job is to develop rapport by faking interest in their kids.

5.Talking about recent increases to your wine cellar – Nobody likes a snob, and although affluent prospects enjoy wine, few are true aficionados but many will pretend. So, play along rather than engaging in a bragging contest, ask questions and then educate by suggesting a well priced varietal.

6.Replaying your last round of golf – Be prepared to listen with interest to the boring golf games of your affluent prospects. Because other golfers would rather play golf than listen to someone dribble on about their game, you have a window of opportunity to organize a game. Oh, and don’t talk about your game. Listen to their dribble, develop rapport, and get a game.

7.Detailing the plot of your favorite TV show or movie – Don’t you love it when someone just keeps on rambling about a movie or show they’ve seen? Ha! Re-telling the good scenes, jokes and all – boring! Much along the line of detailing a great meal you once ate at a particular restaurant – who cares? You do, when you’re listening to an affluent prospect. Of course, as a master rapport builder you avoid this faux-pas.

Now, keep your powder dry, there are exceptions to all the above. These topics aren’t boring to everyone and not all affluent prospects (and advisors) are boring. The secret is that when engaged in properly (listening more than talking) you’ll find yourself naturally developing rapport with affluent prospects in social circles.

However, remember you need to brace yourself to being bored. Today’s affluent like to talk about themselves. Boring, but rapport building.