7 Affluent Rapport Killers

Recently I had the pleasure (tongue in cheek) of having lunch at a fundraiser with a table of BORING affluent locals. An hour later, after my excruciatingly painful meal, it was apparent that these people are ideal prospects but don’t have a clue about developing rapport and making a good first impression. Not that they cared, but few people would like to be called “boring.”

Now, keeping my tongue firmly implanted in my cheek, let me remind you that an aspect in the art of selling to today’s affluent is being able to quickly establish rapport, often times with boring people. And boring conversations are a turn-off. Right?

So as we enter the summer season when advisors should be working to capitalize on this crisis – PROSPECT – which leads to active social prospecting, let’s have a chuckle and review what I’ve termed the 7 Affluent Rapport Killers.

1.Talking too much – Do you know anyone like this? How about any advisors who like to hear themselves talk? I do. The rule of thumb for affluent rapport building is to spend 80% of your time listening and 20% talking. Let them babble on while you force yourself to be interested.

2.Talking about yourself – Get used to it. But don’t do it. Don’t you love it when you’re listening to someone tell you, in minute detail, about themselves –what they’re doing, what they like, what they’ve done, etc. Another rule of thumb with the affluent is that when they’re talking 80% of the time, it important to get them talking about their favorite subject – themselves! Sorry, but they could care less about you.

3.Not listening – Isn’t it infuriating when someone asks you a question and you get the feeling they are not listening to your response? It’s poor form. This is a real challenge for anyone who likes the sound of their own voice, especially advisors. Why? Because instead of listening they’re looking for an opening to … talk. Some even interrupt. Ouch!

4.Bragging about your kids – I know, everyone’s child is going to be a professional athlete, doctor, attending an Ivy League college, or about to save the world. Which is why an entire industry was built around bragging bumper stickers; My Child Is An Honor Student at…. I don’t know about you, but I’ve never seen one that read My kid’s stupid! Remember, it’s okay for your prospect to brag, to be boring – your job is to develop rapport by faking interest in their kids.

5.Talking about recent increases to your wine cellar – Nobody likes a snob, and although affluent prospects enjoy wine, few are true aficionados but many will pretend. So, play along rather than engaging in a bragging contest, ask questions and then educate by suggesting a well priced varietal.

6.Replaying your last round of golf – Be prepared to listen with interest to the boring golf games of your affluent prospects. Because other golfers would rather play golf than listen to someone dribble on about their game, you have a window of opportunity to organize a game. Oh, and don’t talk about your game. Listen to their dribble, develop rapport, and get a game.

7.Detailing the plot of your favorite TV show or movie – Don’t you love it when someone just keeps on rambling about a movie or show they’ve seen? Ha! Re-telling the good scenes, jokes and all – boring! Much along the line of detailing a great meal you once ate at a particular restaurant – who cares? You do, when you’re listening to an affluent prospect. Of course, as a master rapport builder you avoid this faux-pas.

Now, keep your powder dry, there are exceptions to all the above. These topics aren’t boring to everyone and not all affluent prospects (and advisors) are boring. The secret is that when engaged in properly (listening more than talking) you’ll find yourself naturally developing rapport with affluent prospects in social circles.

However, remember you need to brace yourself to being bored. Today’s affluent like to talk about themselves. Boring, but rapport building.

It's Summer! Select the Right Social Event

Philadelphia: “Every time we decide that we’re going to incorporate intimate social events into our business, we get derailed,” groaned Bill in the Q & A session following my keynote, concluding with his real question, “how can we get started?”

Bill isn’t alone. Although intimate social events are the preferred event of today’s affluent investor (see chart below) and the event to which they are most likely to bring a guest, few advisors seem to have incorporated them into their business model. This is a shame. Why? Because it’s one the few activities where you are able to express appreciation to your best clients and prospect at the same time. And the bonus, when done properly, you are mixing business with pleasure.

 

The objective is to entertain your best clients and friends within their centers-of-influence. It’s important that you begin with the end in mind; you want your clients to bring guests. This requires selecting an event that is guest-worthy. If you picky something that might be considered boring or salesy (i.e. a dinner hosted by your firm), as our research highlights, you will struggle getting people to attend. SO, the first step is selecting an event that is worthy of your client’s making that extra call (to bring a guest).

We are frequently asked about which types of events are most popular. The answer is; it depends – as it’s based on your specific client base. However, we’ve found that most of the events that advisors have held fall into the following broad categories:

• Life Milestone Events – Birthdays, anniversaries, and graduations offer excellent opportunities to honor clients and their family members.
• Cultural Events – Art exhibits, concerts, theater outings, and events that honor the culture of your community all have worked well.
• Entertainment – Here is where you can have some fun; whether it’s a wine tasting, cooking, antiques, or playing bridge.
• Sporting Events – This can be either as observers or participants. Golf, tennis, and boating are favorites. College and pro games are also appreciated by those who are fans of local teams.
• Educational Events – An invitation to clients and guests to hear a well-known speaker is one option. Another is to bring in a speaker on a topic that you know will be of interest to a select group of clients (nutrition, cancer prevention, etc.)
• Charitable Events – Select with care, knowing that your clients might be solicited by the organization sponsoring the event. This is a great way to be see by the power players in your community.

These broad categories should provide you a framework for determining which match your client’s interests.

Think not only of your first event, but of your second event as well. Setting up at least two events over the balance of the summer provides an option for clients and guests that are unable to make the first event.

Remember, the best events are personal and fun – they don’t have to be extravagant or costly.

As you consider your events for the summer, keep in mind that these events must also be something you enjoy. So, if you don’t play golf, forget about any type of golfing event. If you don’t like wine, skip the wine tasting. The idea is to think in terms of socializing with your top clients and their friends in a non-threatening environment.

Keep these events intimate (8 – 10 people per advisor) and you will be able to develop rapport with all of your guests; clients and prospects. Do so, and you will soon be filling your pipeline as you master the art of mixing business with pleasure.